My car’s factory radio/CD player got stuck one day and I took it to the dealer to extract the CD. He told me, without even looking at the mechanism, “You’ll have to replace the unit or stop using the CD player.” What!?! One glitch and it’s ready for the trash heap? How about checking first to see if something is loose or it just needs cleaning?
Think about your own team. When challenges arise, who among them, including yourself, tends to assume that a solution can be found, and who assumes that the problem is too big, so you should give up? “It can be fixed,” versus, “just replace it”?
Those who instantly default to a “replace it” mentality think that they are just being “realistic.” But they are the same people who have led us to a throw away society, where most things don’t get fixed, they just get discarded. That’s an expensive way to live.
In a recent discussion about optimism, one of my friends told me, “I’m not an optimist or a pessimist. I’m a realist.”
You’ve probably heard that, too. Almost nobody deems him or herself a pessimist. But they often avoid being labeled an optimist as well. Why? Because many think of optimists as dreamers who are out of touch with reality. I’ve done a lengthy study of these mindsets. Over several years I’ve observed that realists are never optimistic. In fact, here’s what I’ve concluded:
A realist is simply a pessimist who won’t admit it!
There are patterns in how people think and what responses they show to challenges. We learn these patterns early in life and seem to retain them indefinitely. But they can be changed.
My friend and colleague, Dr. Terry Paulson, is a psychologist and author of the recent book, The Optimism Advantage. He has studied these mindsets extensively, and the payoffs of each of them.
His research has concluded that optimists are more likely to succeed than pessimists. Here’s why: When you think there is a solution to your problem, you’ll be more likely to stay in the game and keep on pursuing that solution. If you don’t think there’s a solution, somehow, somewhere, then you’ll give up early, to cut your losses.
Likewise, when you see a brighter future being possible, you’ll be more likely to endure discomfort, confusion, or difficulty, because you know it won’t last.
Years ago a long-distance swimmer was swimming across the English Channel… and gave up just two miles from the coast! All that effort, preparation, and difficulty in those cold North Atlantic waters, and she quit within two miles of her goal! Why?
In an interview after she got out of the water, she expressed shock that she was so close to her goal. There was a fog in the air and it obscured the coastline. She couldn’t see her goal, so she assumed it was still a long way off. Had she known how close it was I suspect she’d have made it, no matter how much it hurt at the time.
When we intentionally form the habit of assuming that there’s always an answer or a solution somewhere, then we increase our chances of success. At the same time we retain our ability to give up or pursue another path, but we do so with a much healthier mindset.
So where do we learn optimism? We learn it from each other and from the patterns we follow day to day. If you start today to make optimism a priority in your organization, others will pick up on that mindset, and before long you won’t be the only one who is encouraging it.
Take a look at the posters on your walls: the calendars, the slogans, and sayings you display. If they’re encouraging and positive, they’ll have a good impact on the people who see them each day. Yes, you’ll get some ribbing and complaints at first, but stand your ground. Just create a more positive environment for everyone to work in.
Consider the difference between a poster that says, “Life sucks and then you die!” versus one that says, “It may not be obvious yet, but there is a better way and you can find it.” The first one might get an occasional laugh, but the second might bring about some extra efforts and new ideas.
Next, consider the way you talk about things. Are your own comments positive and productive, or negative and critical? How often do you say you “can’t” do something, when you mean that you just haven’t figured out how to do it… yet? There is a difference.
It’s been proven that optimism can be learned. It starts with a decision to change the way you talk about challenges and people, and it continues with the transformation of your workspace into an encouraging place for people to work.
Pick up a copy of Terry Paulson’s book, The Optimism Advantage, and Martin Seligman’s book, Learned Optimism, and see how you can expand your own possibilities. Your coworkers will be glad you did.
Share your ideas and actions with us below in the comments. We’d love to know what’s working for you.
This article was originally published in GEARS magazine.
Jim Cathcart is the bestselling author of 16 books and a “hall of fame” professional speaker. He has worked with 2,800 clients worldwide over his 38 years as a trainer and consultant. Jim is the founder of Cathcart.com and a frequent coach to many of his colleagues and clients.